Hello my loves! It is almost spring! During this time, some people do what they call “spring cleaning.” They take the time to do things that don’t get done on a regular basis; The more labor-intensive jobs that come along with having your own space. We have also heard of internal cleansing, such as a detox. A detox cleanses our bodies of toxic matter that has built up over time and if left unchecked, may cause issues. Have you ever considered a cleansing of your thought processes, habits, and deeply rooted issues that affect your quality of life? This one may be a little lengthy, but well worth it. Let’s talk about it!

I have been on a journey of developing in my character, growing, and healing in certain areas. One area I am being intentional about is self-awareness. “What does that mean, you ask?” Well, self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires. It is also defined as a clear perception of strengths and weaknesses. Another word I want to give you is the definition of the word Authenticity, which is basically being real or genuine. There is a direct relationship between the two. You can’t have true authenticity without being self-aware.

There are so many things that contribute to who we are as individuals. There could be things that come from our bloodlines and upbringing, hurt and disappointments of life, decisions we have made, and relationships we entertain, that play a huge part in who we become. We are products of our environments and can sometimes be oblivious to our strengths, weaknesses, flaws, and issues because we all naturally have blindspots. Those are the things we don’t see–even when we are looking. After doing something or being a certain way for so long, we can often think our behaviors are “normal.” Only someone from the outside can say “ummm, normal to whom?”

Our response is classic, “That’s just who I am!” I have been challenging myself by asking “But who said that was right, and when is it a good time to change that?” Usually, the person that addresses it is not the only person that notices. We can be made aware of those things by revelation and conviction from God, friends, family, and people we spend time with. Oh yes, God has challenged and brought things to my attention many times. There are also times when friends and family will bring them to your attention. Now here’s a disclaimer, please consider the source when the above takes place. They have to be trusted individuals that know you beyond the surface and tell you in love, not just because it’s something they have always wanted to say.

I will give you some transparency to paint a picture. This is an example of an issue that can come through the bloodline and its affects. In November, I went on my first solo trip to a women’s conference in Raleigh, NC. On the very first day, they spoke about generational issues and I got a very disturbing revelation. I was already aware that I have trust issues that have altered the way I handle relationships. I remembered in that moment that my great-great-grandmother, who was alive well into my adult life, would always tell us “Never trust anyone.” That is literally a word curse. I didn’t make it a habit of repeating it, but I never knew how those seeds sown have had an affect on me. I have no idea who jilted her or her previous generations, but that’s not healthy. Goodness knows I didn’t need that extra baggage. How does that statement look as a woman that wants to be married? How does that look at a time in my life when I am seeking deep connection and meaningful relationships? How does that look as I grow in my relationship with God? It looks like Mr. Wilson from Home Improvement! If you ever watched, you never saw anything but his eyes and there was always a fence between them! They have to relate to me over my walls. I thought “This has to be broken!” I need freedom and so does my family! I will not let this carry on into the lineage that comes from me! This is just my example. Often times we love so hard that we never take an opportunity to really look at our history to see why we are the way we are. As you continue to grow, you begin to see things that are just not quite acceptable. It is not always for you to say something! I’m going to give you a tool that may help.

I want to share with you the ASK concept; Acknowledge, Seek, Know. We cannot heal from anything we won’t own! God can’t fix who we pretend to be. We have to acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses. This helps us build better relationships, and we were created to be relational. There is always a root to every issue. Acknowledge them and figure out where it came from. It could be Anger, lust, fear, overeating, self-righteousness, or gossiping. It had to come from somewhere. Now you can proceed to seek. We must seek God for help! Some things are deeply rooted and must be broken! Pray, find scripture concerning that issue, you may even have to turn down a meal or two. Whatever it takes to get free! Once you have acknowledged, reveal to an accountability partner that will encourage your growth and help you seek healing and freedom. This accountability partner is someone that can call you on the carpet when you’re ready to go from 0-100 because you have an attitude problem. Proverbs 27:6 tells us “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” It’s better for a trusted individual to tell you your attitude is nasty than for others to just talk about you.

The last one is to know. You must know your triggers and try not to put yourself in compromising situations. Sis, if lust is your issue, maybe being out with bae late at night isn’t a good look. Maybe it’s that certain people take you back to the “old” you, that may not be your crowd anymore. That crew may not want to follow you in the new direction God is taking you. This takes a great level of maturity. You have to learn to say no to things that were once enticing to you or made you behave in a certain way.

So, I’m pretty sure you have identified some key areas that have now made you self-aware! If not, hopefully, you are seriously planning to think and pray on those things so the cleansing and healing can begin. Congratulations you are on the way to your authentic self! Most people think that being real is being bluntly honest. That is partly true, but most of us are not that real about things that really matter. Please realize that you can’t bare your soul to everyone. Y’all, social media is not the place to bleed! However, there are some people that need your authenticity to lead them to a deeper relationship with God. Give them something that shows your flaws, but also shows them how God uses your flaws because they are surrendered to Him. Truth is, we will be working on something until we expire; that’s why we need God.

I pray that we all become more self-aware, not to beat ourselves up, but to build ourselves in those areas of weakness. I pray that we surrender those things to God and seek him for healing and cleansing. I pray he places the right people in our lives to show them our scars, bleed in a trustworthy environment, and allow them to hold us accountable as we endeavor to be healthy, whole, and authentic. We will know the triggers and make strides to protect ourselves against those things that try to keep us in bondage. Prayerfully this was a helpful tool in your growth and restoration! Peace and blessings!

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