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Good day my loves!! We are at the halfway point of the year!! How time flies! Prayerfully you all are growing and glowing!! As always, I have a little story for you all. When I was a little girl, I was a pretty good kid. I didn’t give my mom any trouble that a strong look couldn’t handle. I only had one issue…I talked too much. Every. single. time a report card or interim would come out, I would feel fear because it would always say, “Vontressa is a good student, however, could you talk to her about her excessive talking?” One of my favorite teachers was my fourth-grade teacher. She had a nickname for just about all of us; My nickname was Oprah because I talked a lot! Apparently so much that I needed my own talk show. She still calls me that to this day. I have no idea why I had so much to say during those tender years of my life, however, something changed.

Most people that know me now know that I am not really a talker. I will speak to anyone, but I don’t necessarily have to have a conversation. I am perfectly fine in silence. I’m the girl that calls people and kinda hopes they don’t answer just so I can say “Chile, I called you!” Yeah, pray for me. I thought about that a few months ago and I wondered when I “lost” my voice. One day while listening to my JBL speaker, I realized something. I realized that even though the sound from that small speaker is loud, if I allow the speaker to be covered by something, it’s really hard to hear. In the fourth-grade, I had not really experienced life. I had not been frozen by fear, I didn’t know about rejection, I had not experienced hurt, so my speaker was loud and uncovered.

Later in life, I started to experience rejection, which introduced me to fear, which then welcomed me to a feeling of hurt. Each incident placed another blanket over my speaker, making it harder and harder to hear. Then when I tried to force a sound, out came the sound of defense. It was a little louder, but harsh. I became abrasive and developed a mentality of ” I’m gonna get you before you get me.” My words could crush you like an aluminum can under the weight of a bulldozer, and I didn’t have to use one piece of profanity. My rejection was showing, and I allowed the hurt and bitterness of life to overshadow the sound of that innocence of my youth. When I realized this, I went back in my shell. I had to allow God access to season my words with salt. Only He could coax me from my hideout and teach me how to use my words wisely and allow wisdom to lead. I learned that there is a way to get your point across without adding a side of wrath.

This journey of reflection has allowed me to be able to peel back the layers that were determined to muffle my sound. God has placed people and groups in my life that are forcing me to never retreat to that person who hid her voice. The fact that there were so many factors and circumstances trying to keep me silent lets me know that my voice can be mighty, if it’s used. I have discounted myself and allowed others to discount me as well because of those layers. I have refused to open my mouth when I knew that I had something important to give or share.

I used to sing a lot. I would get a couple of dollars to sing Superwoman by Karyn White when I was a kid at family gatherings, was in chorus through my senior year in high school, and my hairbrush was my microphone at home. Much hasn’t changed today because it goes down in a major way in my car, like a Coachella performance! But, at one point, I stopped singing in front of others. Someone once called my singing “noise.” Then I thought my voice wasn’t good enough because I always heard about how anointed everyone else’s voice was, while I felt mine was just convenient. A few years ago, I was praying and I asked God to restore the anointing in my voice, immediately I heard “Where did it go?” God was letting me know that he never took anything from me; Just because others don’t acknowledge or value your anointing doesn’t mean it’s not present. Our goal should be to reach heaven, you will reach those called to your gift in that process. God’s gifts and callings are without repentance, whether we steward it well or not is up to us.

We have to push against the tactics used by the enemy to silence our voices. I still struggle at times. It has taken me some time to grasp that there is a need for my voice in the earth, even if it just reaches one or two people. This blog required a very uncomfortable amount of openness. I wasn’t exactly jumping up and down to start it, and some topics I do not exactly want to expound upon, but I have something to share that can help someone else. I just have to pray that as I expose myself for God, that He would cover me. After almost two years, I joined the praise and worship team at my church this year. I have wanted to quit about 17 times because it’s uncomfortable, but I have to push against my fears. I can choose to be comfortable and stagnant, or uncomfortable and grow. I can tell you that comfort and growth do not coexist. What is it that has covered your voice? I am sure you don’t have to think too hard about that. Who needs your voice? We must peel back the layers so that we can be loud, clear, and relevant. Not sure about you, but I want to be a woman that speaks with wisdom, efficiency, and value. I don’t want to be someone that says a lot, but has nothing of value to say. I have learned that I don’t have to speak much, I just need to make the moments that I do speak to carry weight.

I pray that we will identify the layers that have held us in obscurity longer than we should be. I pray that we will place those fears, doubts, disappointments, and rejection at the feet of God and ask for help to pursue and overtake. I pray that we obtain wisdom and strength to fight for our freedom. I am thankful for the courage and boldness that will be obtained as we fervently seek wholeness. I am thankful for the sound that comes from women that speak with value, love, joy, and wisdom. Women who change the world around them by using the voice that God has anointed to turn the world upside down. I pray that when we find our voices again, we decide that we not be silenced again! Turn up the volume sis!