Hello sweets! Welcome to October’s blog post! I can’t believe we are almost at the end of 2020! I can understand that some of us are kinda ready for a do over and praying for some normalcy. This month I am going to share with you some epiphanies I have experienced and how they have caused me to correct some of my thought processes. So, one day I was walking with my friend in her neighborhood. We were approaching some ladies and it was a little obvious that one of them was not going to speak. My friend is ultra friendly so she spoke anyway, one spoke and I spoke back, but as we walked away I said “Liberties”. My friend asked for an explanation and I basically said we shouldn’t get offended as we all have liberties. The lady was using her liberty of not having to speak, and I was allowing her to have that. That was the first time I ever used liberties in that context. I probably haven’t said the word since I was helping my niece learn the Constitution song! I had no idea that the very next week I would need to understand that term more deeply to make better decisions concerning my next moves.

The next week, I was listening to a podcast called “Dear Future Wifey.” It’s amazing, you guys should check it out. There was a guy on there and while he was talking I had my own personal epiphany. I literally said LIBERTIES out loud! Liberty by definition is “A state of being free from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views.” It is a right or priviledge. Here is where I realized I need to apply “liberties” to my life.

I immediately thought of two areas that I needed to work on my personal application of “Liberties.” Both of them have a common root of rejection. First, I struggle with having hard conversations. I know, that is a part of life! I am always concerned about how the other person will feel, but what about my feelings? I realized that I should have the liberty to express my feelings and truth openly without feeling that I am rejecting or offending them. I am usually projecting my rejection issues on them. They may be ok with what I say, as long as the delivery is articulated peacefully. I heard a freeing statement that says “You are not responsible for how someone manages your truth.” This means we don’t carry the responsibility of managing our emotions and theirs. People may not agree or understand, you just have the liberty to set boundaries or show people what hurts in your world. We do have the responsibility of making sure we view all aspects and check ourselves as well to make sure we are in line with the truth of the word. It should be delivered appropriately and the ultimate goal should be peace.

I recently had to have a hard conversation with someone. I thought I articulated it well verbally, but apparently I wasn’t clear enough. It took a few weeks for me to gather the courage, but since I am a much better written communicator, I decided to do it that way. It took way more prepping than it should have, but I did it. The response was one of approval and understanding, but I had to free myself of how they handled what I wrote knowing I had done so in a respectable way. I exercised my liberties, and it was truly liberating.

The next area is one that I realized I have been doing all my life. I would disqualify myself before I would give someone else the opportunity to agree or disagree. I didn’t allow others to have the liberty to accept or provide opportunities, because I didn’t want to deal with the rejection. Looking back, I can see the areas where I either sabotaged situations or simply concealed my desires because the actions or words of others were filtered through my wounds. This caused me to make decisions for them, which was usually no. I would always say that I don’t believe in self-inflicted pain, but I had been doing that all along! So I realized that I needed to make sure that not only did I allow others to have to have the liberty to make their decision, but I need to embrace it. No matter how that looks. Do you know how many healthy friendships, relationships, and connections I could have made if I would have just been open enough to receive? If I would have let others exercise their liberties?

This is difficult and takes work. It means actually putting yourself in a space for someone to hurt you. Y’all that’s hard, but it’s the only way! Every relationship carries a risk of hurt or rejection, even parental and marital relationships. Hard conversations have to be had and liberties have to be given as well as received. It just takes asking God for discernment, trusting God with people instead of trusting them, and being open to the possibilities. Everyone doesn’t have ill intentions. Everyone is not a predator. God gives us the opportunities to make healthy connections often, but we usually fail because of our wounds and reluctance. I personally, had to make the decision that healthy connections are needed, so I have to do the soul work to heal and allow access to others with guidance from God.

The opposite of liberties is bondage. I had no idea that restricting the liberties of myself and others left me in a bound state. Now that I have learned, I can’t correct the past, but I can embrace opportunities to exercise my liberties and welcome the liberties of others, whatever that looks like. Zig Ziglar said it best when he said “You cant keep punishing yourself for something that you didn’t know until you learned it.” When you know better, you do better.

I pray that this has blessed someone and allows us to come out of bondage to embrace our liberties and the liberties of others. I pray that we can allow ourselves the freedom to speak our truth in love. That we seek God for the right words as we share what hurts, words seasoned with salt and truth of God’s word. Help us to see those hard conversations as tools to sharpen us as we are accountable and hold others accountable. I pray that as we guard our hearts by the leading of the Holy Spirit we will build healthy boundaries, not walls, that will cover us as we enter into relationships and acquaintances. Help us to heal so we hear what others say from a place of health, not through our wounds. Father, show us where we have not been using our liberties and help us to gain freedom. The freedom to grow, evolve, and welcome the amazing things you have planned for us. Amen!

PS: Broken To Beautiful is now also a PODCAST!!! Please check out Episode 1 on mybrokentobeautiful.com as well as Spotify, Apple Podcast, and Google Podcast platforms!! So excited to share this new venture with you all! Blessings!

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