Hello lovelies!!! Hope you all are doing well. I want to start by giving you all a brief update. So, in December’s post “Soul Surgery” I mentioned that I was seeking counseling. I am still attending my sessions and even though I still have moments that I want to just walk out, I stay because I need it. I have no idea why I didn’t commit to this earlier, but I guess I had to get to a place where I was truly tired of where I was in order for it to be effective. I went expecting to make changes in my life and I have discovered so much about myself. Counseling has provoked so much personal reflection and revelation, so in this blog I am going to allow you into some of my personal journaling escapades.

One morning in prayer, I heard “burn it” but I had no idea what it was all about. Not sure if it was the same day, but I decided to journal a little and I received revelation of that phrase. I started writing about a particular place I was in emotionally that I did not want to be. Y’all I messed around caught one or two feelings for someone! This was a familiar place, but not a welcomed experience. Yes, I’m single but I kinda wanna skip that whole catching feelings part. I just want “He that finds a wife” to just come through, show intentional interest, and we can live happily ever after! However, this was an opportunity to grow. I wrote “God said He would give me beauty for ashes, but am I willing to burn fear, rejection, and pride to see the beauty that could come?” I truly believe that was a game changing question. In counseling I have discovered that my fear and fear of rejection is rooted very deeply. Particularly in the area of relationships. So the question is, how bad do I want the freedom? Am I willing to come into agreement with God about burning the things in my life that keep me from seeing the beauty and obtaining the promise?

Fire is a powerful element. In the Bible, God has been compared to a refiner’s fire. As I researched, a refiner’s fire does not destroy, but it burns away the impurities that ruin its value, leaving the gold or silver in tact. Fear and fear of rejection ruin my value. They cause me to see myself in a distorted view. I accepted the impurities because I didn’t want to sit in the uncomfortable place as the impurities burn.

At the beginning of the year, I asked God to show me the beauty. The beautiful places that I haven’t discovered within me and within my journey. People always see the broken parts of me in the blogs, but I needed God to show me the beauty so I can share that too. I realized there has been beauty in each post. I have shared moments that have hurt me, traumatized me, and damaged me yet I still show up every day to actively participate in my healing and share. That is how I am overcoming and allowing those ashes to turn into beauty. One way I can participate is by being courageous.

So about that feeling I caught, I tried to subtly show that your girl was interested. Very subtly, but this was HUGE for me because I am not usually courageous in this area. It did not have the exact outcome that I expected and I felt defeated, disappointed, and SALTY! I told my friend that I thought I just needed to write it out to get my life together, since pushing him down is frowned upon!🤣 I knew it had to be God because despite what some think, I ain’t that deep! I was reminded about the saying “Loosing the battle does not mean you have lost the war.” I began writing that I needed to celebrate the small victories. I may not win the war in the moment, but there was a victory somewhere. Each time I am presented an opportunity to be courageous there is mental war. There is the force that says “Pursue and overtake!” Then there is the force that says “If you don’t win the war, what’s the point? So have a seat.” Each time I choose to be courageous the latter voice is defeated and something DIES!! Even if it is just a false belief in that moment. If I get in the practice of being courageous, eventually the war will be won and that thing that needs to die will be destroyed. Freedom comes after the war is won!

This journaling revelation was for me in that moment, but I wholeheartedly believe that this is for so many of you as well. This was just my example. God has called us to be courageous and victorious. We will not win every battle, but we have to show up and take our position to win the war. Each time we fight we allow God to refine us and we grow. This is truly a refining period in my life, and I am fighting in the war for my future. But I did ask to see the beauty, right? And I can hardly wait to see the finished product!

What war are you fighting and what has God asked you to allow Him to burn in this season? Take some time to seek Him for your personal revelation. I pray that we are able to identify those impurities that ruin our value. I pray that we freely give them to Him as a burnt offering in exchange for a pure, renewed relationship with the Father. I pray that God will consume those areas with His consuming, refiner’s fire and burn those areas so that we can see the beauty. Although the process may look contrary to His promises, I pray we clench tight to those promises and never lose sight of what has been spoken. He is strength in our weakness and He has already given us victory and power to win the war before us. We will not be defeated! We thank Him for giving us beauty from the ashes. He does all things well and He makes all things beautiful in it’s time! Amen!

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Well hello Lovelies! February is a month that is known for its celebration of Black History Month and Valentine’s Day. During this month we honor the pioneers that have paved the way for us as women, and we celebrate the love for ourselves or allow ourselves to be celebrated by a significant other. There are many pioneer women in the Bible as well. Women that we admire and have grown to love. Typically the woman we are talking about this month is one that is mostly mentioned around Mother’s Day. If you haven’t figured it out already, this month we are talking about the Proverbs 31 Woman!

I have read this passage in the Bible so many times and thought “Ummm, she does too much, I kinda don’t wanna be like her. I’ll look for someone that isn’t so intense!” I’m not exactly the get up before everyone, cooking breakfast type. However, I tried the Proverbs 31 Project by Melissa Callaway. It is literally a year-long challenge with things to do to push towards the goal of being the Proverbs 31 woman of this age. I stopped around the 4th month; Right when she gave me that workout plan! I rebuked that because they did not have gyms then. It says she was strong, not skinny, just saying. Reading it sounded very intimidating and unrealistic, then I found The Passion Translation. I absolutely encourage you to check it out on the YouVersion App and study in comparison with other versions to get greater understanding. Many think that Proverbs 31 only applies to being a good wife and mother, but being a Proverbs 31 woman benefits our roles at work, business, at school, at church, and with friends. No one is exempt from needing to have good character. This woman was one of wisdom, strength, and virtue. The people around her were beneficiaries of the woman she was! Now, who wouldn’t want to be a woman of that caliber??

The verses about the virtuous woman start at Proverbs 31:10. In the Passion Translation, verse 10 says “Who could ever find a wife (woman) like this one-she is a woman of strength and mighty valor. She is full of wealth and wisdom. The price paid for her was greater than many jewels.” This lets us know that she has great value. She has been cultivated by spending time with God and has gained strength and wisdom. She has wealth, not just monetary, but as you read, you see that she is rich in relationships, favor, love, and honor. One of my favorite verses in this version is verse 14. It says “She gives out revelation-truth to feed others, she is like a trading ship bringing divine supplies from the merchant.” To me, this sounds like her mouth spews honesty and virtue because she is the trading ship and she brings divine wisdom, revelation, and understanding from the merchant, which is God! This shows us that she is not for the foolery! She had to keep her well pure.

This woman is not selfish, she reaches out to those in need and extends generosity. She is prepared for the future, this means being strategic about her next moves. Lazy is not her portion, as she proactively searches out the needs of her family. She looks good, and so does her family. Her husband and children honor her. She is a teacher, not just to her family, but she is generous with the wisdom that God has given her. The light on her life is infectious and makes others want to do whatever she did to get whatever she has! She is mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally available for her family. Her husband values and trust her to govern her areas of expertise because of the wisdom she holds. I gained a deeper revelation of this amazing woman and realized that she has many qualities and traits that I aspire to master!

Her value, fragrance, and oil are priceless! Not just anyone can afford what she has to offer! Ladies, we must protect our oil; Not everyone deserves it! This stands true in romantic and platonic relationships. God has called us priceless, precious jewels! Our oil can’t be duplicated. You know how two people can have on the same fragrance and they each smell different? Because they have different body chemistry! What I have won’t necessarily work for you and vice versa! Doesn’t that make you feel special? The fragrance you carry is specific to you! You work harder to protect something when you realize that you are the only one that can provide it! Beauty and charm are nice, but your fragrance adds substance and depth.

The Proverbs 31 woman was actually a portrait of the ideal woman meant to be “fit for a king.” However, these should be life goals. These qualities and characteristics keep us closer to God and draw others because they feel Him by just being in our presence. We will not get to this point by just reading books or going to conferences; We get there by understanding our true identity, cultivating our relationship with God, and hiding His word in our hearts. Psalms 119:11 says “I have hidden your word in my heart so I might not sin against you.” When we know our standard, we at least make a conscious effort to do better. She had the heart of God. She was in a place where He poured out His heart concerning her directly to her. She was an investor. She invested her time, energy, and resources to serve God and those around her. This ladies, is a phenomenal woman.

I am a believer that when we ask God for something, He often answers us with an opportunity. We don’t have to aspire to be just like the Proverbs 31 Woman, however, I’m sure she possesses something we need more of. It could be “God I need to be more submissive.” Well, next time your husband makes a decision that is reasonable, but you will not enjoy, submit! That’s your opportunity! It may be “God I need to work on being so selfish.” When someone asks for some of your hot, salty McDonald’s fries, share!! That’s an opportunity! We get opportunities to grow in our character daily; from a micromanaging boss, a whiny kid, an unreasonable coworker, to an annoying mate. Y’all, people make it hard, don’t they? I know! There are many days I want to push someone down and hope they don’t get hurt! But those are opportunities, it’s up to us whether we accept the challenge or choose to stay where we are. Let’s take steps to grow and be better women for our community, jobs, ministries, friends, and our world! We are called to be change agents, so ask yourself “Am I changing my atmosphere for the good or bad?”

My prayer is that God brings those growth areas to our attention. That we don’t take offense, but allow it to bother us enough to change! I pray that we will continue to seek Him for how we should handle our opportunities to grow and enhance the women we are. I pray that He would give us grace and strength to pursue those changes. I pray that our change will be visible by all and that it ignites a fire within others to grow! We don’t have to be the Proverbs 31 Woman, but we can use her as a role model to be greater wives, mothers, and women!

Hey ladies and Happy New Year!! We are officially in a new decade! I hope it has served you well thus far and you are excited about all of the exciting new things in store! So, if you are a regular here or know me personally, you have probably gathered that I am a very skeptical person. I don’t usually take risks, but it is a goal of mine to take more risks in the future. I just kinda enjoy safety. Sometimes that same safety can allow me to be in a place of disobedience or in a place where my hearing is distorted by my skepticism. This month we are going to talk about someone kinda like me who had submit despite how things looked. He had to tell Jesus, “If you say so.”

This is the story of Simon Peter and it is found in Luke 5:1-11. We haven’t done Bible study in a while, so let’s do it! So Jesus was doing the work of the Lord preaching near the Sea of Galilee. He noticed that there were empty boats and men washing nets. He stepped in one of the boats and asked Simon Peter to push it out so He could teach from there. When He was done, He asked Simon Peter to go deeper and cast nets so that he could catch fish. Simon was like “Ummm so I have been out in these seas all night and I ain’t caught nothing, but if you say so.” Imagine what Simon Peter was thinking. He probably thought “First of all, I have already cleaned my nets.” Ladies, y’all know how we act when we wash dishes and someone uses a dish! We get all the way live! Also, Jesus was not a fisherman. How did He figure that by Him being there, the outcome would be any different?

Well, Simon Peter submitted and when they let down their nets, they were so full of fish, they began to tear! Y’all, that was overflow! Him and all the boys were shook! Simon Peter was like “Jesus, I am soooo sorry!!” He told him “No worries, but now you will be fishers of men.” At that point they began to follow Jesus. He was showing them that as they followed Him and His instruction, they could also bring others to Christ just like they caught those fish in the nets.

Do you see how his response lead him to more than he could ask for? After reading this I realized that I need to develop a mentality of “If you say so.” When Simon Peter developed that resolve, he had provision. He just had to listen and follow the plan. We ask too any questions, and we always want to know how things will look at the end. God gives us instructions in pieces to see if we will do it. Once the obedience is proven, we have unlocked the door to the next phase. We won’t always see the totality of a plan, we just have to learn to trust Him at His word and believe that the provision will be made.

So, in what area(s) do you need to have an “If you say so” mentality? What has God asked you to do but because you don’t see it working, you don’t submit? There are so many things we should be doing, but because we don’t know how it will look, we just sit there and look! To achieve greatness requires great risk. Let’s allow God in our lives as Simon Peter allowed Him in the boat and watch Him do the miraculous through our obedience and submission! I pray that we learn to hear and heed the voice of God. I pray that we will hear His voice and a stranger we will not follow. I pray that we see His provision in all that we do in His name. That we seek Him for every decision we make and when He gives instruction, we have the resolve of “If you say so!” Be blessed my loves!!😘

Good day ladies!!! It is December!! ‘Tis the season to spend time with family and friends! I was gonna just give us a break, BUT I guess God had other plans. So, here we are! December is a turning point for most. We always tend to think about the upcoming year and take inventory of the things we need to change or do differently. Yes, get ready for the new year, new me posts! We should always be in a position to assess and gain revelation on who we are and the things we need to do in order to be better human beings on any given day, not just at the turn of a new year. One morning in prayer, I heard “Soul Surgery.” Immediately a song came to mind by Sister Beyoncé that could help me tie my thoughts together.

The song is called “Pretty Hurts.” It talks about how Beyoncé’ measured herself against what society tells us we should be. She says “We shine the light on whatever is worse.” This means we give special attention to the areas we feel we don’t measure up or areas that are problematic to us, rather than embracing our great attributes. I know I do that ALLLL the time, but the part that connects to the blog title says “Tryna fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see, it’s the soul that needs a surgery.” There are so many relevant, thought provoking points in this song. The revelation that I got from the lyrics was that most of the issues we try to fix, mask, or brush off are really deeper than the surface, they are soul issues.

A few months ago, I had a feeling that I just couldn’t explain. I knew something was up, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt like I needed some answers, and I needed to get to a place of healing or breakthrough from something or else I would end up being stuck. There are places that we cannot walk into unless we exit others. I needed an exit. I needed soul surgery. For me, exiting required counseling. It is still such a taboo topic, especially amongst our ethnic communities, however sometimes we need someone to ask us the hard questions. Many are ashamed to admit that type of help is needed. To me, this shows that you are self aware and are open to actually do the work to heal and grow. Personally, I am at a point where I no longer want to play with the symptoms of my issues, I want to get to the root and end the cycles. We can pray for healing, but sometimes we have to be active participants. Even when God healed people in the Bible, there was usually something they had to DO to actually obtain that healing.

It does not feel good, I have had to face things that I did not want to face, and hear things I didn’t want to hear. But, it is all essential to my growth and development. So, my counselor made a statement that had me in my feelings. Have you ever known something to be true, but when someone else actually says it out loud it just cuts so deep?? So, I kinda just wanted to walk out and knock everything down on my way out! There was truth to the statement, and it made me evaluate myself and understand that this may be the area that needed surgery. Just as with a necessary surgery, the cut is required so that there is no other choice but to heal–no other choice but to change. That first cut was where mine began.

Some of you may say “What exactly is the soul?” Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. Basically, it is what we think, decisions we make, and how we feel. 3 John 1:3 (TPT) says “Beloved friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way and that you continually enjoy good health, just as your soul is prospering.” What if your soul is not healthy? How can our soul be healthy if our thoughts, decisions, and emotions are not healthy? This is how our inner emotional wounds can create actual health issues.

I am going to tell you all about an area of my soul that has not been well–that is the area of self-esteem. This area has been a struggle for me for, well almost all my life. I have come to levels of healing in this area, but my thoughts on my self-esteem are not always healthy. Recently, I was in conversation with a friend who doesn’t like me to reference the fact that I am plus-sized. She asked me if it bothered me to be classified as such and I told her that it does not bother me as much as it used to. I didn’t realize that I was actually embracing my curves in that capacity. However, I still have a problem embracing my true beauty and value as a person, which obviously includes my plus-sized attributes. I can dress these curves up with cute clothes, but if I can’t fix my soul on this issue, I will not be able to walk in total healing in that area. Psalms 139:14(NKJ) says “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My SOUL knows well.

I have to get to the point that my soul is healed enough for me to believe it fully. That is gradual, and I am actively working to make sure that I get there. This has been a hinderance for me for so long and in so many areas. When I started this blog, my first argument was “God, I am not where I need to be yet.” Truth be told, if we all waited to be used by God when we were “ready” we would all just be sitting around looking at each other. We are all a work in progress and we will be working on something until the day we expire. I was so consumed with getting to the place of healing for it to make sense to do what I do for you all and for the ones I am called to help. God had to tell me not to focus on how my healing will help others, but how it will help me. It is just as important for me as it is for anyone else. If I cannot believe that I am capable and worthy, I cannot accept the new places that God is taking me because I will always feel like I shouldn’t be there.

So in what area does your soul need surgery? Are you willing to be cut in that area so you can be healed? Are you willing to do the work to get to the place of health in that area? Who will you allow to ask you the hard questions that will cut you so that the surgery and recovery can begin? This doesn’t have to be something you start on January 1st. This can start today. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, so if we see an area needing surgery, we need to do what we can to get to our next healthy place. In being healthy for ourselves, we can be healthy for others.

I pray that we prosper and be in good health, just as our soul prospers. I pray that we experience a knowing in our hearts of the areas that we need to allow surgery to be performed. I pray that we allow God to expose those areas and allow trusted individuals to be a part of our healing process–those that will support us in our exposure, recovery, and growth. I pray that in our healing we provoke healing processes to begin in those around us. I pray that God gives us the endurance to do the work so that we will prosper and be in good health because our soul IS well. Thank you ladies for following me on this journey. We have made it through another year! Wishing you and your family a HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON and a PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!! Love you all and talk to you next year!!