Hey ladies and Happy New Year!! We are officially in a new decade! I hope it has served you well thus far and you are excited about all of the exciting new things in store! So, if you are a regular here or know me personally, you have probably gathered that I am a very skeptical person. I don’t usually take risks, but it is a goal of mine to take more risks in the future. I just kinda enjoy safety. Sometimes that same safety can allow me to be in a place of disobedience or in a place where my hearing is distorted by my skepticism. This month we are going to talk about someone kinda like me who had submit despite how things looked. He had to tell Jesus, “If you say so.”

This is the story of Simon Peter and it is found in Luke 5:1-11. We haven’t done Bible study in a while, so let’s do it! So Jesus was doing the work of the Lord preaching near the Sea of Galilee. He noticed that there were empty boats and men washing nets. He stepped in one of the boats and asked Simon Peter to push it out so He could teach from there. When He was done, He asked Simon Peter to go deeper and cast nets so that he could catch fish. Simon was like “Ummm so I have been out in these seas all night and I ain’t caught nothing, but if you say so.” Imagine what Simon Peter was thinking. He probably thought “First of all, I have already cleaned my nets.” Ladies, y’all know how we act when we wash dishes and someone uses a dish! We get all the way live! Also, Jesus was not a fisherman. How did He figure that by Him being there, the outcome would be any different?

Well, Simon Peter submitted and when they let down their nets, they were so full of fish, they began to tear! Y’all, that was overflow! Him and all the boys were shook! Simon Peter was like “Jesus, I am soooo sorry!!” He told him “No worries, but now you will be fishers of men.” At that point they began to follow Jesus. He was showing them that as they followed Him and His instruction, they could also bring others to Christ just like they caught those fish in the nets.

Do you see how his response lead him to more than he could ask for? After reading this I realized that I need to develop a mentality of “If you say so.” When Simon Peter developed that resolve, he had provision. He just had to listen and follow the plan. We ask too any questions, and we always want to know how things will look at the end. God gives us instructions in pieces to see if we will do it. Once the obedience is proven, we have unlocked the door to the next phase. We won’t always see the totality of a plan, we just have to learn to trust Him at His word and believe that the provision will be made.

So, in what area(s) do you need to have an “If you say so” mentality? What has God asked you to do but because you don’t see it working, you don’t submit? There are so many things we should be doing, but because we don’t know how it will look, we just sit there and look! To achieve greatness requires great risk. Let’s allow God in our lives as Simon Peter allowed Him in the boat and watch Him do the miraculous through our obedience and submission! I pray that we learn to hear and heed the voice of God. I pray that we will hear His voice and a stranger we will not follow. I pray that we see His provision in all that we do in His name. That we seek Him for every decision we make and when He gives instruction, we have the resolve of “If you say so!” Be blessed my loves!!😘

Good day ladies!!! It is December!! ‘Tis the season to spend time with family and friends! I was gonna just give us a break, BUT I guess God had other plans. So, here we are! December is a turning point for most. We always tend to think about the upcoming year and take inventory of the things we need to change or do differently. Yes, get ready for the new year, new me posts! We should always be in a position to assess and gain revelation on who we are and the things we need to do in order to be better human beings on any given day, not just at the turn of a new year. One morning in prayer, I heard “Soul Surgery.” Immediately a song came to mind by Sister Beyoncé that could help me tie my thoughts together.

The song is called “Pretty Hurts.” It talks about how Beyoncé’ measured herself against what society tells us we should be. She says “We shine the light on whatever is worse.” This means we give special attention to the areas we feel we don’t measure up or areas that are problematic to us, rather than embracing our great attributes. I know I do that ALLLL the time, but the part that connects to the blog title says “Tryna fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see, it’s the soul that needs a surgery.” There are so many relevant, thought provoking points in this song. The revelation that I got from the lyrics was that most of the issues we try to fix, mask, or brush off are really deeper than the surface, they are soul issues.

A few months ago, I had a feeling that I just couldn’t explain. I knew something was up, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt like I needed some answers, and I needed to get to a place of healing or breakthrough from something or else I would end up being stuck. There are places that we cannot walk into unless we exit others. I needed an exit. I needed soul surgery. For me, exiting required counseling. It is still such a taboo topic, especially amongst our ethnic communities, however sometimes we need someone to ask us the hard questions. Many are ashamed to admit that type of help is needed. To me, this shows that you are self aware and are open to actually do the work to heal and grow. Personally, I am at a point where I no longer want to play with the symptoms of my issues, I want to get to the root and end the cycles. We can pray for healing, but sometimes we have to be active participants. Even when God healed people in the Bible, there was usually something they had to DO to actually obtain that healing.

It does not feel good, I have had to face things that I did not want to face, and hear things I didn’t want to hear. But, it is all essential to my growth and development. So, my counselor made a statement that had me in my feelings. Have you ever known something to be true, but when someone else actually says it out loud it just cuts so deep?? So, I kinda just wanted to walk out and knock everything down on my way out! There was truth to the statement, and it made me evaluate myself and understand that this may be the area that needed surgery. Just as with a necessary surgery, the cut is required so that there is no other choice but to heal–no other choice but to change. That first cut was where mine began.

Some of you may say “What exactly is the soul?” Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. Basically, it is what we think, decisions we make, and how we feel. 3 John 1:3 (TPT) says “Beloved friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way and that you continually enjoy good health, just as your soul is prospering.” What if your soul is not healthy? How can our soul be healthy if our thoughts, decisions, and emotions are not healthy? This is how our inner emotional wounds can create actual health issues.

I am going to tell you all about an area of my soul that has not been well–that is the area of self-esteem. This area has been a struggle for me for, well almost all my life. I have come to levels of healing in this area, but my thoughts on my self-esteem are not always healthy. Recently, I was in conversation with a friend who doesn’t like me to reference the fact that I am plus-sized. She asked me if it bothered me to be classified as such and I told her that it does not bother me as much as it used to. I didn’t realize that I was actually embracing my curves in that capacity. However, I still have a problem embracing my true beauty and value as a person, which obviously includes my plus-sized attributes. I can dress these curves up with cute clothes, but if I can’t fix my soul on this issue, I will not be able to walk in total healing in that area. Psalms 139:14(NKJ) says “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My SOUL knows well.

I have to get to the point that my soul is healed enough for me to believe it fully. That is gradual, and I am actively working to make sure that I get there. This has been a hinderance for me for so long and in so many areas. When I started this blog, my first argument was “God, I am not where I need to be yet.” Truth be told, if we all waited to be used by God when we were “ready” we would all just be sitting around looking at each other. We are all a work in progress and we will be working on something until the day we expire. I was so consumed with getting to the place of healing for it to make sense to do what I do for you all and for the ones I am called to help. God had to tell me not to focus on how my healing will help others, but how it will help me. It is just as important for me as it is for anyone else. If I cannot believe that I am capable and worthy, I cannot accept the new places that God is taking me because I will always feel like I shouldn’t be there.

So in what area does your soul need surgery? Are you willing to be cut in that area so you can be healed? Are you willing to do the work to get to the place of health in that area? Who will you allow to ask you the hard questions that will cut you so that the surgery and recovery can begin? This doesn’t have to be something you start on January 1st. This can start today. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, so if we see an area needing surgery, we need to do what we can to get to our next healthy place. In being healthy for ourselves, we can be healthy for others.

I pray that we prosper and be in good health, just as our soul prospers. I pray that we experience a knowing in our hearts of the areas that we need to allow surgery to be performed. I pray that we allow God to expose those areas and allow trusted individuals to be a part of our healing process–those that will support us in our exposure, recovery, and growth. I pray that in our healing we provoke healing processes to begin in those around us. I pray that God gives us the endurance to do the work so that we will prosper and be in good health because our soul IS well. Thank you ladies for following me on this journey. We have made it through another year! Wishing you and your family a HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON and a PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!! Love you all and talk to you next year!!

Well hello ladies!! We are rapidly approaching the end of the year and it is officially Hallmark season!! Y’ all, that has to be the best channel ever created! So you know what I have been doing lately, however, I did make some time to talk to you all! This month we are talking about community and friendships. I have come to realize the importance of meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships. I was reminded of an old TLC song “What about your friends.” They were putting us on to questioning our partnerships. Although I have access to many amazing women in different circles, I personally admit that I do not always lean on my friends or make myself available for new relationships. Evaluating relationships is such a needed topic as we can always strengthen both romantic and platonic connections. Let’s talk about it.

So, I have this one friend that I did not intend to have. I have her permission to tell you all how she wiggled her way in. I started a new job and making friends was not exactly on the agenda. I had been laid off for seven months and I was just happy to be employed! Of course I was new and knew no one there, so I ate lunch alone. I would go into this quiet area where there was usually no one around to read. She would always come from downstairs that way and instead of leaving me alone to mind my business, she would literally plop down beside me and just start talking. I was wondering what was up with this little girl. She was just too nice and kind for me to ignore. Eventually we had a real conversation and decided to have dinner one night. She said she told her friends “I don’t know what it is, but she has something I need and I am going to get it.” And here I am just wanting to go to work. We never know who is watching and who needs what we have. I do often have to remind her that I am NOT a super saint and to take that title off of me, but rather we are growing together.

Now, let me give a disclaimer. The older I have gotten, the harder it is for me to allow others in my life, however, I cannot deny we need people. There is this song by Erica Campbell and Jonathan McReynolds called “All I need is you” that I love! Although I low-key have a holy crush on Mr. McReynolds, y ‘all that statement is not completely true. God designed us for relationships. Jesus had friends! Relationships were designed to strengthen us, you know iron sharpens iron. Yes, people make you want to sharpen the iron and just poke them a little, but healthy friendships help us grow. Notice I said HEALTHY. All relationships are not healthy, my loves. Similarly, neither are all communities. Let me give you the definition of community. Community is a group of people having a particular characteristic in common; a feeling of fellowship with others as a result of sharing common attitudes, interest, and goals. Think about your circle, how do they embody the definition of healthy community?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT) says “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” This sounds like what a friendship should look like. A friend is someone who recognizes our flaws and issues and loves us in spite of them. We all have some level of dysfunction. When we encounter people, we also encounter their issues, trauma, and baggage. In friendship, we should be able to confess our “stuff” to each other. Doing this allows us to be held accountable–giving us an opportunity to show our scars in hopes that our friends will help to cover, not expose our wounds, until we heal. There has to be a standard of transparency and trust. Friendship should be a safe place.

I have grown to ask myself “Will this relationship add value to my life or to the life of the other person?” Although my friend stated that she needed something from me, I have also learned many things from her. Our relationship is mutually beneficial. She also enjoys watching Hallmark with me! 😊 One key thing that came to me while writing was how people connect. We must pay attention to what connects us in relationships. Sometimes we can be connected by unhealthy bonds. Pain is a connection. Rejection is a connection. Trauma is a connection. Nothing brings people together like those three, however, is the connection to emerge out of it or to stay there? We all grow in different phases. If that relationship was established on pain, rejection, and trauma, when healing comes to someone, that bond will eventually break due to strain. Let’s make sure that we are lifting each other up, so if we connected in unhealthy circumstances, we can both get to a place of healing.

We must make an effort to spend time with our friends. I am a firm believer that we all make time for what we want. Never establish a friendship without spending adequate time with that person, even outside of what connects you. That means if your connection is church, work, or another organization, go beyond those settings. Sometimes we can take on the persona of that setting and you may end up with someone completely different. By doing this, you will find out who they truly are at their core. Don’t walk around in disbelief when your best friend is not who you think they are because you only connect in that one setting. Know what you are signing up for ladies!

Love on your friends ladies! Sometime between me starting and finishing this post, I actually lost a friend. A GOOD friend. She passed away suddenly in October and I could not believe it. Over the past few years, we communicated but only saw each other a few times. I wish I would have made more time, I wish I could have known exactly what was happening so that I could have been there in some way. So, I had to deal with some regret on top of the grief of her departing. I have so many wonderful memories, and we spent so much time together during a season of our lives. So, I have learned a lesson. When you have good, solid connections, keep the lines of communication flowing. Sometimes I think people are busy living their lives, but it only takes a minute to say hi or I have been thinking of you. Make the time now so you don’t have to wish that you could later.

Hopefully this was helpful to someone as we navigate through life. I pray that God allows us access to healthy, mutually beneficial partnerships. I pray that we become the friends we are seeking. I pray that we use discernment to know who sent them and why. I pray that we don’t hold on to friendships longer than needed. That we allow them to serve their purposes and if we need to release, that we do so graciously. I pray that the relationships built to last are cherished and protected. That scars can be revealed, nurtured, and healed in your safe places. I pray that the things you feel that you cannot share, that you allow our BEST friend to come in and provide healing that only He can provide. Amen. Amen. and Amen again my loves!! Have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving! I am grateful for you all!

Happy October sweetfaces!! I am sooo excited to share with you all this month! Last month’s post was a little heavy, so I hope to lighten things up a little this time. I want to share some interesting revelations that I have experienced within the last few weeks. I pray that the revelation is not only beneficial to me, but also to you all. That you will be able to gain personal revelation in your own lives.

Over the past few weeks, there was a scripture that I couldn’t shake. It was Proverbs 13:12 and it says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.“(NLT) I decided to write it out and journal what that scripture means to me and how it applies to my life. You know I love to understand words correctly, so I looked up the definition of deferred. Deferred means to “postpone, or put off an action or event until a later date.” Y ‘all, we live in a society that does not like to wait for anything! I am definitely not an exception. I started to think about the effects of hope being deferred and how it can make our hearts sick–leaving us hopeless.

If we put our hope in something and it does not happen, that causes us to become discouraged, discontent, and doubtful. This can lead to anxiety, fear, depression, and other health issues. This scripture reminded me that I was putting my trust in the things I had hope for and not in the one who can grant those things to me. He reminded me that I always think about what “historically” happens. That is a word I use often. If I am stuck in that place, how can I honor and prepare for the place where my dream is fulfilled? Doing this keeps me from truly trusting God and actually having expectation in some areas of my life. It can make my heart sick. I want to share with you a story about a woman who continued to trust in the Lord for her petitions even though her hope was deferred. Bible study time ladies!

This woman’s name is Hannah. Hannah’s story is found in 1 Samuel chapter 1. Hannah was married to a man named Elkanah. Well we all know in the Bible days, men usually had more than one wife. Elkanah had another wife named Penninah. Penninah was a messy baby mama who taunted Hannah because she could have babies, while Hannah could not. Motherhood in those days was taken very seriously. It was a reflection of their worth if they did not have children. I can understand that she got tired of Penninah tormenting her about something she was so hopeful for.

One night Hannah was fed up with Penninah’s torment and she went to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. She was praying so passionately that while her lips were moving, she was silent. The prophet Eli even thought she was drunk. She told him that she was pleading with God and Eli answered “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” She went back with her husband and was no longer sad. I feel like she felt relief after that prayer. Her hope was renewed as she was in position for that divine appointment. She went back home with her husband and they had an ummm “encounter” and the Lord remembered her and she became pregnant. She promised that she would give him back to God for His service. She honored her word and named him Samuel, which means “God hears.”

I imagine Hannah’s prayer was full of reverence and humility. She still had hope, but she got to a place of desperation. How do we wait? Go ahead and admit, sometimes with an attitude. I know I’m guilty. She had the child that she wanted so badly and still gave him to God as a sacrifice for service. In turn, He blessed her with five more children. How many times have we made promises in prayer only to turn around and tell God “Ok, thanks!” and not honor our word? God blessed her because her heart was pure, she never lost hope, and he could trust her to hold true to her promises. Her prayer and sacrifice lined up with His will for Samuel’s life. He was groomed to become a great prophet.

The end of the scripture I mentioned earlier says that “A dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” That means it brings satisfaction and joy. Trees are supposed to produce, so when a dream is fulfilled it makes us fruitful. But we must continue to have hope. Even when things don’t appear to be working, if it is something we know God has promised us, we must have hope. Once Hannah got confirmation from Eli that she would have her baby, scripture said she was no longer sad. Delay does not mean denial. We must trust that God is strategic in His plans for our life. Isaiah 55:8-9 states “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” He knows the end from the beginning, so our end of the deal is to just remain hopeful which in essence, means to have faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God.

So, I know we all are believing and hoping for God to come through in some area of our lives or the lives of our families and friends. It could be healing, a loved one coming back to Christ or going deeper in relationship with God, restoration of relationships, or believing for a child or a spouse. We all have something placed before God. I pray that we will continue to place our hope in God and not in the things we have need of. I pray that we will continue to be confident that our hope will not disappoint. I pray that we will have the strength and wisdom to go back to God in sincere, humble prayer. He is the God who sees and He is the God of unfailing love. May we understand that those who sow in tears shall reap with joy! “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” (Romans 5:3-5) Be blessed beloved!

One last thing! Please like the @mybrokentobeautiful page on Facebook for encouragement and laughter throughout the week!