Happy New Year my loves!! I pray that your new year is off to a WONDERFUL start! This month we are talking about newness. This has blessed me personally and has given me a totally different perspective. I want you all to know that I am never talking at you, the revelation smacks me in the face first before it gets to you! This journey is for us all! Now, about this newness. Of course, I have confided in my dictionary and found some definitions for you. The one that stood out to me was “something unfamiliar or something unaccustomed.”

A New Year-2019

This year is full of possibilities, but it is also full of things that are unfamiliar-much like our walk with Christ. We have to trust that He is the God of the new. Have you ever been dealing with a situation and wondered, “Why am I not able to get over this? Why can’t I just start over? Why am I in this continuous cycle?” Could it be that we have not released the old? The Good Book says in Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Every cause has an effect. When we let go of the past things and people that hurt us or the decisions we regret, we will be able to perceive the new thing He has for us.

The first step in walking into the new is to identify those past hurts and regrets and gracefully release them to God. Yes, gracefully. THAT👏🏽IS👏🏽HARD👏🏽! I was listening to Dr. Faith Wakoma and she stated that “If you curse the previous place, you close the door to the new place. ” 🙌🏾🙌🏾 So, instead we must accept what happened, ask God to heal us and allow us to release the past, and understand that it was preparation for the new place. Sometimes we grieve the place that we are in or even the idea of where we want to be for so long, that God can’t get the new thing to us because we are still in mourning. For example, I have to release the idea that according to my plan, I was supposed to be married to a nice, tall, butter pecan tan man of God with good hair by the time I was 25, have my daughter by 28, my son by 30 and live happily ever after! Well, I have gracefully walked past each of those milestone ages, soooo apparently God and I were not on the same page about those #Relationshipgoals! If I hold on to that idea, how can I effectively receive the plan that God has for me? I will always compare it to what I think I was supposed to have. We can’t be so fixated on what we want that we take our eyes off of the new thing that God wants to do. His plan is always greater!

A Biblical Example-Our Sister Ruth

I’m sure EVERY woman has heard the story of Ruth. We usually just skip to the part about her getting her Boaz, however, there is so much more to that story. Admit it, you have probably told someone at least once you’re waiting on your Boaz! Let’s leave her boo alone and get us Devante or Seth with a Boaz mentality! If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read the book of Ruth–it is only 4 chapters. Ruth is actually the daughter in law of Naomi. Naomi was married and had two sons and another daughter in law Orpah. Naomi’s husband and sons passed away which left Naomi feeling betrayed. She held on to that grief and decided to go back to her hometown. Her daughters in law were coming with her but she was not having it. She was like “Look, I have nothing for you, I can’t have another son to be your husband, go home to your own families.” Orpah was like “noooo!!” The kind of no that you say when you really want someone to say “yes, please go!” Ruth was steadfast. She was not taking no for an answer. Naomi was still grieving and even asked that they call her Mara(meaning bitter) during this time. Ruth could have went back to familiarity, instead, she walked into the new!

In this new land, she was diligent in taking care of Naomi by working in the fields. While Ruth was out there, Boaz came out and asked who the new pretty young thing was. He instructed his people to give her special treatment and leave grain for her to glean on purpose. Not only did she get provision, but she also got a husband out of the deal! Ruth went from gleaning in the field to owning the field! She was in a position to receive because she had released the grief and pain from her past and accepted this new place that God had led her to. She even helped to restore Naomi’s faith in God.

We never hear about Orpah again, however, Ruth’s story is still being told; She is the great-grandmother of King David and in the lineage of Jesus. What she thought was just faithfulness to her mother in law was actually her mandate to carry out the promise! From that story, we see that God is a God of restoration. Ruth didn’t hold on to her pain and sorrow. She grieved, however, she didn’t allow the grief to overcome her. In doing this, she made herself available to all that God had to give. He redeemed her time! He made her story one of beauty; He made all things new!

Walking Into Your New

So what are you grieving? What are you missing out on because it doesn’t look like what you asked for? What space can we trade for a new, unfamiliar place? Yours may be different from my previously mentioned example. Trust me, we all have an area or two that could be up for discussion. Let’s look deep and figure those things out so we can be free to receive this year. Our story may not be like Ruth’s, or anyone else we know. God doesn’t have to bring my husband like He brought Ruth’s, I want to experience something new! However, I can’t block my blessing by holding on to my vision for that area of my life. My prayer is that we can be honest with ourselves and identify the things or people we are grieving. I pray that we give those things to God and ask Him to help us to release the regret and pain. Let us walk in a freedom that unlocks the doors to all that God has in store for us. I pray that He makes all things new and redeems the time we spent in mourning. Let’s set the tone for our year to be available for the new things our God is doing!

Hello lovelies! We are in the final days of 2018! So we know it’s almost time for the”new year, new me” mantras. Here is my take on those. First, nothing changes unless you do. Second, nothing different happens at 12 am on January 1st except the date on the calendar. Third, you don’t have to wait until January 1st to make changes, resolutions, or decrees. This can be done on any given day!

That mantra reminds me of an old song my mom used to sing in church when I was a little girl. It was basically saying that when you got saved you got new hands and feet. That.does.not.happen! However, getting saved and the coming of a new year are events that provoke change. Change is not automatic. We have to put in work to actually make the change happen. 
I found some statistics on resolutions. Only 8% of people actually keep their resolutions and 80% of resolutions fail by February. Sooo, do we want resolutions or do we want to have lifestyle changes?

Although I don’t entertain the thought of making resolutions, I do use this time of year to reflect. This reflection usually starts around my birthday, which happens to be in November. Birthdays, to me, are like our own personal new year. I must confess that this year, my reflection time did not start well. The week before my birthday,  I was what some may call “in my feelings!” I was reflecting, but focusing from the wrong lens-looking at what I didn’t have and longing for the things I am still waiting on God to release. I found myself discontent and frustrated. Although I didn’t like those feelings, I remained in that place for a few days. I had to give myself grace. Grace to feel. Grace to understand that it’s normal to have those moments, but God has given me the tools to get out! We have to learn to reflect based on God’s will for our lives. Our posture has to be one of gratitude. I was basing my life on what God has done for others and how I felt “behind” compared to my peers. So, I was looking from a lens of comparison.

While writing that week, I believe God’s answer for me came through me. I wrote, “Daily I have to make the decision to either stand on the promises of God or fall into my doubts and fears.”  All I could say was wow! I have to understand that as long as I follow Him, nothing He has for me will miss me.  I was even able to understand why I’m still waiting on some things, but this revelation only came when I was in a place of being receptive. 

After that moment, I was able to regroup and effectively reflect. When reflecting, I look at what went right as well as what went wrong. I assess things I need to work on, areas that I need to reset because of being too comfortable,  as well as goals and aspirations. I definitely include things that I need to be more intentional about in prayer. These are all things that we can start on any given day. We need to reflect so that we can continue to grow and improve. This a humbling activity. It shows that we have an awareness that there have been victories, and there have been times where we have missed the mark. It takes maturity to stand back and see our dysfunction and make strides to correct those things. It’s an opportunity for us to truly open up and be receptive to what God shows us about ourselves. It gives us an opportunity to create vision. Reflecting is like maintenance on a car. It can and should be done often to maintain the health of our mind, body, and soul. 

I challenge you to take time and reflect on your year. Take a break and just write out the ideas I mentioned and whatever God places on your hearts. Ask Him for guidance and direction in those areas. Make sure you’re focusing from the right lens! Right now I am reading Command your morning by Cindy Trimm and one part that stood out was when she stated that we can ask God to “let there be light” in our situations. This was the first command of God. By asking for illumination, we will be able to see with clarity and watch as God gives us a strategy regarding those areas. Let’s ask for God’s light! Proverbs 16:13 tells us to commit our plans to the Lord and He will make our plans succeed. The deal is we have to surrender our plans for His. God will not trade momentary happiness for exceeding joy. My plans may not meet my expectations, but I need some of that exceedingly and abundantly kinda provision!

So let’s reflect, surrender, and follow His plans so we can succeed and excel. Not just next year, but every single day. I pray that we will be intentional about making time to reflect. That we will ask God to “let there be light” and seek His fresh revelation and strategies. I pray that we continue to experience healthy growth and deeper clarity on God’s direction for our year and life. I have included a few scriptures below to get you started on your reflections and to have some word to stand on in your journey. Please feel free to add some of your favorites as well.  I am so thankful for you all! I appreciate your time and support this year and I pray that you continue to follow me on this journey! Wishing you happy holidays and a prosperous new year! 

Philippians 4:6-9, James 1:1-8, Jeremiah 29:11-14, Jeremiah 42:3, James 2:17, Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:28, Matthew 6:33, 2 Corinthians 5:7, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

Happy November ladies! This year has really flown by! I have enjoyed sharing with you all, and a few days ago I turned 33!  I am so excited to share, learn, and grow with you all in this new chapter of my life! This month we are talking about busyness. Life can be busy, and we as women wear many hats. We are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, girlfriends, employees/bosses, and the list goes on. Each relationship takes a little bit more from us and requires more time from our day. We are naturally busy individuals. Have you ever stopped to think “Why do I take on so much?” “Did I really have to say yes to that?”

I found myself in a perpetual state of being “busy.” How many of you know that busy doesn’t always equate to productive? At one time I worked two jobs while I was living at home with my mom. BUSY. I always worked overtime, which almost equated to two jobs. BUSY. Before my layoff in 2017, I worked 10 hours a day sometimes 6 days a week and I had something to do after work EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. BUSY. Imagine how I felt from all that busyness to having absolutely nothing to do, except look for jobs and maybe go to the gym or for a walk. Your girl was sick! I felt so unproductive. Who was I now?

This gave me time to think. I thought about why I always took on extra responsibilities, extra hours at work, and extra tasks. I came to the conclusion that I was struggling with my identity, I had a need to be needed, and I was covering up deficiencies. This was a very sobering revelation. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy because we feel that we are what we do. Usually when someone says “tell me about yourself” we automatically say what we do, not who we are. We want to establish our titles or accolades first. I always had a “title” or was a part of something. So, what was I gonna tell them now? I felt my identity was in my job or activities. I wanted to be needed but didn’t want to need anyone else. I wanted to drown out the things I had no desire to face. I didn’t have time for emotions when my planner was full! I even remember saying during an emotional moment in my life “I don’t have time to cry.” Aside from the fact that I do not like to do it, to say I don’t have time to feel??? 

Right in that barren place, I had plenty of time to allow God to show me who I was. My identity is in Him. I don’t have to fill my life with work and activities to feel important. I don’t have to overcompensate to feel successful because of my fear of failure. We are so much more than our titles, activities we are apart of, and accolades. Even with those things, we can still end up empty, stagnant, and exhausted; especially if they are not endorsed by God. I wanted to look the part, but I was raggedy inside. I didn’t have time to focus on the things I needed to fix or work on. I just continued to cover them with my “busyness.” Busy and bleeding. I was reading Without Rival by Lisa Bevere and she said “God asked her did she want to LOOK fruitful or BE fruitful”. That touched my soul! There is a difference ladies!! Looking fruitful is for people, but being fruitful is for God to use you to reach people!

God gives us identity through His word. He says we are the salt of the earth. The world has flavor and substance because we serve Him. He says we are victorious, we have authority, we have dominion and power. We are His daughters, intricately made to be His glory carriers. Fearfully and wonderfully made so that each of us bring something different to the kingdom. This is who we are outside of all of those extracurricular activities. This is what truly matters. This is what remains even in the breakup, layoff, divorce, disappointment, or loss. It’s one thing to know who you are, it’s another thing to embody it.

Let’s go to Bible study! The topic of busyness reminded me of the story of Martha and Mary. This story is found in Luke 10:38-42 and John 12:2-7. Martha and Mary are sisters, and they were set to host Jesus and His disciples for dinner when they came through their city. Martha was in the kitchen cooking and preparing for the visit. Like us, the food wasn’t ready when her guest got there! She was still preparing and Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus; gleaning and listening to His words. She was captivated. Martha, on the other hand, was like “Ummm so Jesus this isn’t fair, I’m trying to prepare for you and sis is just chilling like there’s nothing to do. Make her come help me!” Jesus basically replied, “Martha, you worried about the wrong thing, Mary actually has the right idea.” Martha wanted to please Jesus the man of flesh, Mary wanted to please His spirit man. Martha wanted to serve Him with food and hospitality, Mary wanted to serve Him with her sacrifice. Martha wanted to look fruitful and Mary was actually being fruitful.

So which sister are you? I’m sure we probably have a little of both. We look at Martha and think she’s a boss and she was handling things. She kinda made Mary look unproductive. She was irritated because Mary was sitting still. Jesus proved to her that there is power in being still. We don’t have to neglect those things and activities, but we need to learn to be still and listen to what He has to say. Martha’s only reward was that she could tell her girls that she cooked for Jesus. Mary gave a sacrifice. She listened and she prepared Him for His sacrifice for us. She had the right idea and she had everlasting rewards.

So we no longer have to continue to fill our lives with things that make us look the part. There is nothing wrong with being apart of things, saying yes to obligations, or just being busy, however, check your motives. If you’re doing it to get special recognition and approval from others, to prove something to someone that probably doesn’t care, or to look “fruitful”, you have the wrong idea. Let’s ask Him to make us fruitful for Him. Whatever we produce, be it at work, church, a project, or organization, we should want it to look like Him. In order to do that, we have to be like Mary and sit at His feet. Spend time with Him. Allow Him to pour out His love, wisdom, healing, and peace upon us. I pray that we learn to make room for Him, that we learn to just slow down and check our motives before taking on tasks, that we understand that we are so much more than what we do. I pray that we receive healing and revelation in our stillness. That we allow our identity to come from Him and we walk in the power we receive from the encounter with Him. Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving and much love, my dear ladies!!

Hey there LOVELY people! I can’t believe it is already October! Hope you all are making it a great one! This month we are talking about emerging. I have a thing for the thesaurus and a dictionary so I will look up a word in a hot second to make sure I am using it correctly.  I took a look at the definition of emerging and I saw some powerful phrases. I found “to move out or away”, “to surface”, “to come into view”. My favorite definition was “to come to the end of a difficult period or experience.” I was like Yaaaaassssss! That’s what I was looking for!

When you are in the process of emerging from something, that is a very pivotal time in your life. You have to set boundaries! I spent so much of my life in the dark, it was difficult for some to handle me moving in my light. This light changed the way I carried myself, the way I spoke, the way I dressed, the way I allowed others to treat me, and the decisions I made. This place will cause you to put people in their correct “seat” in your life. You will realize that you had folks in the front row that need to be in the balcony! Maybe even in the lobby with no ticket! Sometimes we connect with others through pain and insecurities–when that part of you heals that connection is broken. You can continue to try to keep it, but God will continue to show you things that further prove that point. During this time, you have to protect your process, your peace, and your purpose. Let’s unpack that.

During your process, you’re putting together the pieces. You may not understand, so it’s impossible to expect someone else to understand. It’s YOUR process. This is an opportunity to assess situations, learn about yourself and those around you, and allow God to reveal who He needs you to be. The process can be a daunting and sometimes lonely place. The company you keep during this time can either push you forward, push you backwards, or keep you stuck. Just trying to live a life pleasing to God can convict and intimidate others, but that’s not your battle to fight. They have to want more of Him for themselves. They can either follow you as you follow Christ, or you will have to move their “seat”. Because everyone couldn’t be close to your process, all they know is who you were. They have no idea who you have evolved into! This requires you to retrain people how to treat you. During my emergence of self-esteem issues, I had someone tell me “you don’t act like you think you’re ugly anymore.” Mind you, it was not in a celebratory tone. Ummmm there were so many ways that could have been addressed, at that moment I put up my church finger in my head and moved that “seat.”  You can still love them, they just can’t be close to your process! You owe no one an explanation for your healthy growth! Some people like you better broken, it makes their broken places look healthy.

Now let’s talk about peace. Peace is an inward sense of completeness, wholeness, and calmness. This is the peace that God gives. Having peace does not mean that everything is going perfect, it does mean that you have the perspective that God is healing, working, and moving even though our results are not tangible. If those around you have beliefs or opinions that are contrary to what you believe to be true about your situation, they can ruin your peace. There have been many conversations that have been cut short for the sake of my peace! Especially when I was out of work. When people don’t understand how you are coping with a situation they would almost die in, they come for your peace! Your peace irritates people! Don’t let them take it, girl! You can gracefully shut down someone that tries to attack something you are trying to protect.

Lastly, we have to protect our purpose. Your process leads you to your purpose. How you handle your process determines your tenacity to pursue your purpose. This is why you have to protect your peace because it helps you handle things well. Every situation, issue, and disappointment has led me to this place. I haven’t always protected my process, peace, or purpose. When you know better, you do better. My purpose demands that there are some relationships and conversations I can’t entertain. There are activities I can’t be attached to and places I probably shouldn’t go. Those things may not be conducive to my purpose or the ones attached to it. Your purpose is not just about you! It’s about those God has called you to lead or serve. People will sometimes watch your life and use it as a model of how they should follow Christ. You can be dripping with anointing, but if your moral character isn’t right you lose trust and credibility and still end up ineffective. How does your life look in the lens of someone that wants to grow in Christ? Can they see your light? Are you bearing fruit?

One thing about a process is that it can be continual. We may be in one process now, and in another in a matter of months. We should constantly be evolving and growing. Once we conquer one mountain we should be like “God what’s next, what else do I need to work on or give up? How can I work on this character flaw?” We often want to bypass the process. As painful or awkward as it may be, it is essential to our development towards our purpose. God does not use me because I don’t complain about my process, because I do everything right, because my face has been delivered, or because my thoughts are just full of the Lord. He uses me because I am willing to be used. As reluctant as I can be, I still yield to Him. I open myself up to allow Him to pour into me so that I can pour into others.

So, what will your emergence look like? Everyone’s emergence will look different, and prayerfully there will be many emergence moments in our lives as we continue to transform and grow in God. I am so thankful for my many emergence moments. Without them, you would not be reading this. I wanted to be invisible. I was perfectly fine with none of you knowing anything about me. I’m one of those “the less you know about me, the better we get along” type of girls. I wanted to walk around blind and deaf to what was around me so I didn’t have to feel or live up to what God had for me to do. Those mentalities would have left me in my dark places, so I would never be able to help someone else come out of theirs. My need to be obedient superseded my need to just be left alone.

I had to learn to protect those areas in order to continue to grow, learn and develop into my full potential. Just like there are some that were waiting for me to produce this blog, someone is waiting for you to walk in your purpose as well. Someone needs to know how you made peace in your process and how it led you to your purpose. We have to be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison. I WISH I had this resource, but instead He has given me beauty for my ashes and is allowing me to BE the resource. I pray that God continues to be with us in the process by giving us His perfect peace. That He would lead us to seek Him for what He needs us to do in the earth that only we can do. That we would protect that very thing and be a good steward over what He has us to do and the people connected to it. Let’s emerge y’all!