Good day my loves! This month’s topic was a challenge for me. However, I do believe that in my brainstorming and preparation that God ministered to me as well. This month we are talking about comparison. This was a topic on my original list of blog topics that only took me a year to address, as I thought I wasn’t ready to tackle this beast. As I have said before, this is for all of us! I have not arrived, nor do I proclaim to have done so. I am simply being obedient and allowing God to work in me and through me. Now, let’s talk!

We are all familiar with comparison. We have all compared ourselves to someone else, whether to make ourselves look better or worse, or had others compare themselves to us. We have also compared ourselves to the life or image that we envisioned. We compare our shapes and sizes, homes, cars, mates, children, gifts and talents, and the list goes on! It strikes at our workplace, church, school, and even the grocery stores. Be honest, sis.

I thought back to my first encounter with comparison. It was third grade! I had a friend whose mom would come and eat lunch with her all the time and she always had the fresh Lisa Frank stuff. Y’all remember Lisa Frank!!?? It was really popular amongst school supplies during that time. My mom bought me a few Lisa Frank items, but I wanted ALL the things! Mama couldn’t come eat lunch with me because she had to work so she could feed me when I got home! Of course, I didn’t see that then, I wanted to be just like my friend. In my little third grade mind, I compared my life to hers. That was my third grade experience, but as we grow older, those insecurities become less innocent.

In this world of social media, things have not changed. In fact, I believe they have become worse. Social media is an effective tool, but it is also a breeding space for comparison and validation by “likes”. You see people in seemingly happy marriages, cute babies, new cars and houses, and you can easily wonder, “What am I doing wrong?” Instead of using social media as it was intended, to keep in touch with family and friends far away, we use it as a tool to measure our lives against our “friends.” Well, the grass is not always greener on the other side. I have seen posts and KNEW that they were not true. Just because you put #blessed does not mean it was a blessing from God. We get in our feelings because of these things. We see the marriage, but have no idea what they have to do to keep that marriage afloat. We see the engagement, but neither of them have sought God to see if they are even supposed to be together. We see the baby, but have no idea how they struggled to get that bundle of joy into the world. We see the new house, but they may be paying three times your mortgage just to keep up with their image! One of my favorite lines from Steven Furtick is “We compare our behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.” You know they always show you the best movie highlights to draw you to the movie. Sometimes the highlights are actually the only good parts! Such is life for some!

We have to do better and understand that God has a path just for us. My way of coping with this is limiting my social media time. I usually do not check my timeline. If I see something, it’s usually by accident! Please forgive me if I have not liked your pictures! It is just a personal boundary I have set for myself. Of course we should be congratulatory of anyone that has good news to share, however, we cannot allow their good news to challenge the happenings in our own lives. We have no idea how much some have prayed, cried, and suffered for that manifestation. I have a petty confession! I need to stop wondering how Ciara got Russell Wilson! I like her, but every time I see a story about them I literally wonder “How Jesus??!!” She has not been praying for a man of that caliber as long as I have, so how did she get hers first??!! Maybe it’s because she has an agility that I just don’t have, I cannot move on that level! I can see why that would be beneficial! See how easy it is to compare? It’s so common, oftentimes when we do it we don’t even categorize it as comparison. We just be wondering!

I was trying to think of a story of comparison I wanted to use, and God literally gave it to me in conversation with a coworker. It is the story of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar. This story starts in Genesis 11 and goes through chapter 23. It is a very intriguing story, however I’m going to give you just a taste to wet your palette and paint a picture. God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations. However, by this time his wife Sarah was older and was barren. I can imagine her saying “How can that be if we don’t have any babies, it’s been 10 years, come through Jesus!” I’m sure she saw all the other ladies having babies and thought it was over for her, so she had the bright idea to “manufacture” her blessing. She told her husband to sleep with her servant, Hagar. Kinda like a surrogate. As Sarah hoped, Hagar soon became pregnant but then Sarah became angry with Hagar. I can imagine it hit different when she realized that this lady is frolicking around with her husband’s kid. Sarah was so mean that Hagar fled, which could have resulted in Abraham missing out on the life of his son. God convinced her to go back, have her baby, and she obediently named him Ishmael.

God told Abraham that in a year that he would have a son with Sarah, when she was 90 and he was 99. Sarah overheard and laughed! God was like “Why you laughing?” She tried to say she didn’t, but he was like “Sis, I heard you.” He asked her “Is there anything too hard for me?” He was calling her out on her lack of faith! Within that year, Isaac was born just as He promised. Do you see how her comparison led her to jealousy and made her think she could help God to bring her to her promise? She had a promise, but didn’t believe God would do it for her. He definitely did it in his own time! Can any of you relate to Sarah and her feelings of comparison? Have you ever tried to manufacture your own blessings and put God’s name on it? #Blessed!!?? Sometimes we are questioning God concerning our comparison issues and He’s like “I didn’t have anything to do with that!”

Comparison takes away our ability to be grateful and makes us lose sight of the greatness we possess and the wonderful things to come. It truly is the thief of our joy. It is a distraction to take us on a path contrary to where God needs us to be. We lose focus on the assignments we were given because we are focusing on what someone else is doing. Comparison is like telling God that He missed the mark, that is according to our standards. It’s telling Him that we are not so fearfully and wonderfully made. Doesn’t He do all things well?

I pray that we learn to embrace the lovely individuals we are. I pray that we would seek God for what He has for us, learn to celebrate others, and realize that He is no respecter of person. If He did it for them, He can do it for us. I pray that we learn to be content in our respective places until he brings us to our promise. I pray that we will allow Him to lead us to the promise and not try to assist Him, but be a participant in the process. I pray that we grow and allow God to mature us into the people that can not only obtain the promise, but because of the process we endured to receive it, we can maintain it as well. Sometimes your gift can take you places that your character can’t keep you! Let’s keep moving at the pace of God. We don’t want anything that God didn’t send. We also don’t want anything prematurely. Stand on the promises of God concerning YOUR life and follow the path of the Father! Be blessed my loves!