Good day ladies!!! It is December!! ‘Tis the season to spend time with family and friends! I was gonna just give us a break, BUT I guess God had other plans. So, here we are! December is a turning point for most. We always tend to think about the upcoming year and take inventory of the things we need to change or do differently. Yes, get ready for the new year, new me posts! We should always be in a position to assess and gain revelation on who we are and the things we need to do in order to be better human beings on any given day, not just at the turn of a new year. One morning in prayer, I heard “Soul Surgery.” Immediately a song came to mind by Sister Beyoncé that could help me tie my thoughts together.

The song is called “Pretty Hurts.” It talks about how Beyoncé’ measured herself against what society tells us we should be. She says “We shine the light on whatever is worse.” This means we give special attention to the areas we feel we don’t measure up or areas that are problematic to us, rather than embracing our great attributes. I know I do that ALLLL the time, but the part that connects to the blog title says “Tryna fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see, it’s the soul that needs a surgery.” There are so many relevant, thought provoking points in this song. The revelation that I got from the lyrics was that most of the issues we try to fix, mask, or brush off are really deeper than the surface, they are soul issues.

A few months ago, I had a feeling that I just couldn’t explain. I knew something was up, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt like I needed some answers, and I needed to get to a place of healing or breakthrough from something or else I would end up being stuck. There are places that we cannot walk into unless we exit others. I needed an exit. I needed soul surgery. For me, exiting required counseling. It is still such a taboo topic, especially amongst our ethnic communities, however sometimes we need someone to ask us the hard questions. Many are ashamed to admit that type of help is needed. To me, this shows that you are self aware and are open to actually do the work to heal and grow. Personally, I am at a point where I no longer want to play with the symptoms of my issues, I want to get to the root and end the cycles. We can pray for healing, but sometimes we have to be active participants. Even when God healed people in the Bible, there was usually something they had to DO to actually obtain that healing.

It does not feel good, I have had to face things that I did not want to face, and hear things I didn’t want to hear. But, it is all essential to my growth and development. So, my counselor made a statement that had me in my feelings. Have you ever known something to be true, but when someone else actually says it out loud it just cuts so deep?? So, I kinda just wanted to walk out and knock everything down on my way out! There was truth to the statement, and it made me evaluate myself and understand that this may be the area that needed surgery. Just as with a necessary surgery, the cut is required so that there is no other choice but to heal–no other choice but to change. That first cut was where mine began.

Some of you may say “What exactly is the soul?” Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. Basically, it is what we think, decisions we make, and how we feel. 3 John 1:3 (TPT) says “Beloved friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way and that you continually enjoy good health, just as your soul is prospering.” What if your soul is not healthy? How can our soul be healthy if our thoughts, decisions, and emotions are not healthy? This is how our inner emotional wounds can create actual health issues.

I am going to tell you all about an area of my soul that has not been well–that is the area of self-esteem. This area has been a struggle for me for, well almost all my life. I have come to levels of healing in this area, but my thoughts on my self-esteem are not always healthy. Recently, I was in conversation with a friend who doesn’t like me to reference the fact that I am plus-sized. She asked me if it bothered me to be classified as such and I told her that it does not bother me as much as it used to. I didn’t realize that I was actually embracing my curves in that capacity. However, I still have a problem embracing my true beauty and value as a person, which obviously includes my plus-sized attributes. I can dress these curves up with cute clothes, but if I can’t fix my soul on this issue, I will not be able to walk in total healing in that area. Psalms 139:14(NKJ) says “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My SOUL knows well.

I have to get to the point that my soul is healed enough for me to believe it fully. That is gradual, and I am actively working to make sure that I get there. This has been a hinderance for me for so long and in so many areas. When I started this blog, my first argument was “God, I am not where I need to be yet.” Truth be told, if we all waited to be used by God when we were “ready” we would all just be sitting around looking at each other. We are all a work in progress and we will be working on something until the day we expire. I was so consumed with getting to the place of healing for it to make sense to do what I do for you all and for the ones I am called to help. God had to tell me not to focus on how my healing will help others, but how it will help me. It is just as important for me as it is for anyone else. If I cannot believe that I am capable and worthy, I cannot accept the new places that God is taking me because I will always feel like I shouldn’t be there.

So in what area does your soul need surgery? Are you willing to be cut in that area so you can be healed? Are you willing to do the work to get to the place of health in that area? Who will you allow to ask you the hard questions that will cut you so that the surgery and recovery can begin? This doesn’t have to be something you start on January 1st. This can start today. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, so if we see an area needing surgery, we need to do what we can to get to our next healthy place. In being healthy for ourselves, we can be healthy for others.

I pray that we prosper and be in good health, just as our soul prospers. I pray that we experience a knowing in our hearts of the areas that we need to allow surgery to be performed. I pray that we allow God to expose those areas and allow trusted individuals to be a part of our healing process–those that will support us in our exposure, recovery, and growth. I pray that in our healing we provoke healing processes to begin in those around us. I pray that God gives us the endurance to do the work so that we will prosper and be in good health because our soul IS well. Thank you ladies for following me on this journey. We have made it through another year! Wishing you and your family a HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON and a PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!! Love you all and talk to you next year!!