Hello lovelies!!! Hope you all are doing well. I want to start by giving you all a brief update. So, in December’s post “Soul Surgery” I mentioned that I was seeking counseling. I am still attending my sessions and even though I still have moments that I want to just walk out, I stay because I need it. I have no idea why I didn’t commit to this earlier, but I guess I had to get to a place where I was truly tired of where I was in order for it to be effective. I went expecting to make changes in my life and I have discovered so much about myself. Counseling has provoked so much personal reflection and revelation, so in this blog I am going to allow you into some of my personal journaling escapades.

One morning in prayer, I heard “burn it” but I had no idea what it was all about. Not sure if it was the same day, but I decided to journal a little and I received revelation of that phrase. I started writing about a particular place I was in emotionally that I did not want to be. Y’all I messed around caught one or two feelings for someone! This was a familiar place, but not a welcomed experience. Yes, I’m single but I kinda wanna skip that whole catching feelings part. I just want “He that finds a wife” to just come through, show intentional interest, and we can live happily ever after! However, this was an opportunity to grow. I wrote “God said He would give me beauty for ashes, but am I willing to burn fear, rejection, and pride to see the beauty that could come?” I truly believe that was a game changing question. In counseling I have discovered that my fear and fear of rejection is rooted very deeply. Particularly in the area of relationships. So the question is, how bad do I want the freedom? Am I willing to come into agreement with God about burning the things in my life that keep me from seeing the beauty and obtaining the promise?

Fire is a powerful element. In the Bible, God has been compared to a refiner’s fire. As I researched, a refiner’s fire does not destroy, but it burns away the impurities that ruin its value, leaving the gold or silver in tact. Fear and fear of rejection ruin my value. They cause me to see myself in a distorted view. I accepted the impurities because I didn’t want to sit in the uncomfortable place as the impurities burn.

At the beginning of the year, I asked God to show me the beauty. The beautiful places that I haven’t discovered within me and within my journey. People always see the broken parts of me in the blogs, but I needed God to show me the beauty so I can share that too. I realized there has been beauty in each post. I have shared moments that have hurt me, traumatized me, and damaged me yet I still show up every day to actively participate in my healing and share. That is how I am overcoming and allowing those ashes to turn into beauty. One way I can participate is by being courageous.

So about that feeling I caught, I tried to subtly show that your girl was interested. Very subtly, but this was HUGE for me because I am not usually courageous in this area. It did not have the exact outcome that I expected and I felt defeated, disappointed, and SALTY! I told my friend that I thought I just needed to write it out to get my life together, since pushing him down is frowned upon!🤣 I knew it had to be God because despite what some think, I ain’t that deep! I was reminded about the saying “Loosing the battle does not mean you have lost the war.” I began writing that I needed to celebrate the small victories. I may not win the war in the moment, but there was a victory somewhere. Each time I am presented an opportunity to be courageous there is mental war. There is the force that says “Pursue and overtake!” Then there is the force that says “If you don’t win the war, what’s the point? So have a seat.” Each time I choose to be courageous the latter voice is defeated and something DIES!! Even if it is just a false belief in that moment. If I get in the practice of being courageous, eventually the war will be won and that thing that needs to die will be destroyed. Freedom comes after the war is won!

This journaling revelation was for me in that moment, but I wholeheartedly believe that this is for so many of you as well. This was just my example. God has called us to be courageous and victorious. We will not win every battle, but we have to show up and take our position to win the war. Each time we fight we allow God to refine us and we grow. This is truly a refining period in my life, and I am fighting in the war for my future. But I did ask to see the beauty, right? And I can hardly wait to see the finished product!

What war are you fighting and what has God asked you to allow Him to burn in this season? Take some time to seek Him for your personal revelation. I pray that we are able to identify those impurities that ruin our value. I pray that we freely give them to Him as a burnt offering in exchange for a pure, renewed relationship with the Father. I pray that God will consume those areas with His consuming, refiner’s fire and burn those areas so that we can see the beauty. Although the process may look contrary to His promises, I pray we clench tight to those promises and never lose sight of what has been spoken. He is strength in our weakness and He has already given us victory and power to win the war before us. We will not be defeated! We thank Him for giving us beauty from the ashes. He does all things well and He makes all things beautiful in it’s time! Amen!

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