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Happy July lovelies! I am soooo excited as July marks year TWO for Broken To Beautiful!! I hope that this platform has been helpful to you all. I pray that God continues to grace me to provide blogs that promote growth and freedom. Thank you for supporting this mission! Now, let’s get to it!

Lately I have been questioning my theories on the term “The One.” I am sure you all have heard the term “There is someone for everyone.” But is there? I asked a few of my lovelies how they felt about it and I got some different views that surprised me! Some said yes, some said no, and some said yes with conditions. Here is how I feel about it.

I do believe that there is a one for some people. Marriage is a ministry, but it is not everyone’s ministry. God is a very creative God, so I know He is capable of putting people together for multiple purposes. I think back to the very beginning. A few months ago, I was reading Genesis in my Bible study at work and I was in my feelings about my singleness that particular day. I have read and heard Genesis 1 and 2 so many times, but I seemed to have a deeper appreciation of the artistry and strategic nature of God in that moment. The way He created and the timing of the creation proved that He is always thinking about us and our well being, even our relationships.

We got to Genesis 2:18 (NIV) where God said “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The word suitable stuck out for me. Suitable means “right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation.” When I saw this, I realized that while we all have desires for various people, God created us to be in relationship with those that are suitable. Everyone is not suitable. This goes for ALL relationships. Say it with me, “NO ENTANGLEMENTS IN THIS SEASON!!” This is why I feel that there is a one for some people, but we forget the suitability part sometimes because we follow our feelings instead of seeking God to see what or who would be suitable for us. God gave us all free will. He places people in our path, but it is ultimately up to us to make the decision. We use the term “following our heart” while God tells us our heart is deceitful. I know mine has led me to some people that I just knew were my person! I have prayed some holy prayers from the desires of my deceitful heart asking God “Just let me have that one!” Unless we fully embrace the mind of Christ for our lives, our minds can mislead us as well.

Let me challenge you. Think about widows. Losing their person is completely beyond their control. I don’t think it is God’s character to say “Well, that was your “one” you can’t have another!” What if we have blocked ourselves from experiencing suitability? For example, sometimes we make these declarations called inner vows. I used to have a BAD issue with names. I did not want a man with a name he needed to grow into, such as Arthur, Earl, Henry etc. No offense to those good, strong names. I just didn’t want them on MY wedding invitations! I was thinking a good Bryan, Marcus, or Jonathan. That’s petty, right? I have loosened up on that. But it’s the same if you say “I will never date a guy in ministry” or “I will never date a guy with children.” I thought about this and I was like I gotta break my foolish vows! What if God wants to send a youth pastor named Earl with two kids? He can be suitable, but I will still push him away because he doesn’t embody my preferences. What if someone just got it wrong? Does that just throw the whole world off? What if someone else has my person??!! If I find out I’m pulling up to get him! LOL

I have heard many stories of God divinely orchestrating relationships. However, I do believe He gets the glory out of everything He does. When He strategically puts people together for whatever purpose, something is produced from that relationship. He desires for us to be fruitful and multiply, and that does not just apply to having children. He doesn’t just put people together because they look cute together and will make pretty babies. Some of the most unlikely couples were put together by God to advance the kingdom. Every connection has a purpose. The late, great Myles Monroe said “If a purpose is not established, abuse is inevitable.” We must make sure that we understand why we are in relationship with others so that we can be effective in our roles.

A few years ago, I heard a question that provoked me to think and caused me to shift my perspective. The question was “Why do you want to get married or why do you want to be in a relationship?” I realized that most of my reasons were kinda vain. You know, vacations, family pictures, and let’s be honest, guilt free sex! I wondered “Why would God feel the need to bless me with “the one” when my reasons for wanting him would only make my heart sparkle and give Him no glory?” So I had to see what His true purpose was for marriage. My prayers for my future spouse began to shift from vain request to character and moral based prayers. God will give us the desire of our heart, but what He does is allows our desire to align with His as we delight ourselves in Him. The more we seek Him, the more we want what He wants for us. Maybe if we allow our desires to align with His, we will be directed in the right direction of one who is suitable.

Just so you know, there is no formula! There is no one that will meet our every need and want, if there was, we would probably make them our god. Sometimes people can become the best thing we never knew we needed. Your story of life is written by God, so it is all in His timing. God cannot be manipulated. If a person is truly suitable, they can become the one. I pray that we fully embrace the love of our first love. I pray that we shift our perspective to mirror the purpose that God has of the suitability of a relationship. I pray that we will follow God’s path towards preparation so that we may not just find someone suitable, but also be suitable. May we take on the mind of Christ as we make decisions about those we allow in our lives. Let us develop a true desire to have meaningful, kingdom connections that always bring glory to God. I love you all and thank you soooo much for your love and support over the past two years!!

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